ISSUE 17 - HASHER CATCHES BEER THIEF

Local Wilmington Hasher, Bobby put his hashing skills to use recently. As a member of the Wrightsville Beach Hash House Harriers, he runs several miles of trail on Saturdays. During a hash run, one person, the hare, lays a trail with markers and a group of runners follow the trail that results in a cooler of beer.
It was during a lunch break that beer and running would merge together for the runner in a much different fashion. While shopping at the Scotchman at Kerr and Wilshire a man walked out the front door without paying for his beer. The clerk shouted at the man and he immediately took off.
Bobby was about five steps behind the beer thief and decided to try and catch him. The beer thief ran around the back of the building and Bobby went the other way, only to run into the store manager which slowed him down. The beer thief was running across the parking lot behind the Scotchman and Bobby took off again.
During the dash across the parking lot his flip flops flew off leaving Bobby to run barefoot for the next mile and a half or more. The thief ran across Kerr but traffic grew so thick that Bobby had to wait for a break to cross putting even more ground between them. Once across, Bobby ran around Dick’s and saw Beer Thief walking casually in front of Hollywood Video.
Between cars Bobby crouched and moved trying not to be seen. But to no avail, Beer Thief saw him and took off again along College Road. Bobby ensued, yelling at him. A man driving along pulled and motioned for Bobby to get in, having seen where the thief went.
Bobby jumped out at McAllister’s where he found a four foot metal pipe on the ground. A lady told Bobby she saw the man he was after, that he’d taken off his shirt and walked in front of McAllister’s. So Bobby ran inside the restaurant, sweaty, holding a metal pipe, and no shoes. Not seeing the man, Bobby quickly exited and continued the trail for Beer Thief along St. James Road in front of P.T.’s back towards Kerr again.
At Kerr, the Scotchman manager pulled up alongside Bobby suddenly and he got in. It was then they both spotted Beer Thief walking behind Goodwill Industries. Bobby exited the car seconds later at the entrance of Goodwill. Beer Thief saw how close Bobby was and dashed across Kerr, almost getting hit in both lanes, and continued towards Market Street.
On the other side of Kerr Bobby was running parallel to the thief but lunch time traffic was so terrible he couldn't cross. The thief kept looking across the road at Bobby, in which he finally yelled, "Why won't you leave me alone?!" apparently unaware that stealing is wrong and it may piss some people off.
“Because I can run for miles and miles!” Bobby responded. The thief shook his head and continued puffing for air. Bobby saw a break in traffic along Kerr and launched the metal pipe across the road at him, striking his leg and down he went. Both men were surprised at the luck.
Two cars passed in front of Bobby, allowing the thief enough time to get up and run again. As Bobby finally crossed the thief took a left on Hoggard Drive, eventually entering Wimbledon Chase Apartments. Bobby slowed down in case he went in to the woods, and saw him run into a construction site. The thief walked up to the men standing at the site, said something, then walked away briskly, probably behind the house they were tearing down.
Bobby approached them and asked where the man went. They nonchalantly responded "we don't know him." Bobby supposed that the thief was in the house or the woods. A few moments later, the Scotchman manager showed up, and Bobby got back in the car and the beer was returned to the Scotchman cooler.
So depending on your view of all things big and small and what is okay to steal or not to steal you may have a different opinion on this minor criminal episode. Consider this, we all love something free, especially beer, but you can’t go around just stealing it. Plus, theft will only make things more expensive for everyone else.